Quimfathak Farbestbast Fignatyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, confident hummingbird.

Quimfathak Farbestbast Fignatyarl created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimfathak Farbestbast Fignatyarl, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quimfathak Farbestbast Fignatyarl, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Quimfathak Farbestbast Fignatyarl's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Quimfathak Farbestbast Fignatyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five titanium sculptures of Quimfathak Farbestbast Fignatyarl on top of important buildings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never handle zinc while unclean.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Do not stand on grass.