Raggebjam Zigmanpang is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, two-faced swan.

Raggebjam Zigmanpang created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Raggebjam Zigmanpang, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Raggebjam Zigmanpang, she will not invite you to parties.

Raggebjam Zigmanpang's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Raggebjam Zigmanpang's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven seals approach from the east.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Never record names.