Gutcadgut is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, capable hydra.

Gutcadgut created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutcadgut, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gutcadgut, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gutcadgut's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Gutcadgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven porpoises near towers.

2. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never feed nuts to gulls while wearing scarves.

5. Always pray immersed in water.