Laghonlidcimwatgodtailfen Sagbothog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, confident octopus.

Laghonlidcimwatgodtailfen Sagbothog created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laghonlidcimwatgodtailfen Sagbothog, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laghonlidcimwatgodtailfen Sagbothog, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Laghonlidcimwatgodtailfen Sagbothog's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Laghonlidcimwatgodtailfen Sagbothog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near doves while wearing magenta scarves and balancing nine iron spheres on your legs.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Always remove boots before touching carbon.

5. Never travel toward the south during winter.