Bantanwathotstafget is a god.

She takes the form of a small, competent lobster.

Bantanwathotstafget created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bantanwathotstafget, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bantanwathotstafget, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bantanwathotstafget's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bantanwathotstafget's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

4. Feed all hungry otters.

5. Heed all signs.