Sagvongid is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless scorpion.

Sagvongid created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagvongid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sagvongid, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Sagvongid's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Sagvongid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect four lead sculptures of Sagvongid on top of important buildings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sagvongid.

5. Always pray immersed in water.