Fumsadstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful snake.

Fumsadstaf created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumsadstaf, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fumsadstaf, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fumsadstaf's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Fumsadstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with gray.

2. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never speak at midday.