Vogsigxucfub Sithitzan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vogsigxucfub Sithitzan created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogsigxucfub Sithitzan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vogsigxucfub Sithitzan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vogsigxucfub Sithitzan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vogsigxucfub Sithitzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of elders.

2. Never eat nuts on fasting days.

3. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never paint your feet pink.