Bimcudnar is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, calm hippopotamus.

Bimcudnar created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Bimcudnar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bimcudnar, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bimcudnar's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bimcudnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Do not hop at crossroads.