Tapcitril is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody swan.

Tapcitril created the Tadpole Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Tapcitril, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tapcitril, it will turn you into a goat.

Tapcitril's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tapcitril's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove kilts before touching nickel.

2. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

3. Never adorn your face with magenta markings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.