Legganjen Zagcedmut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid snail.

Legganjen Zagcedmut created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Legganjen Zagcedmut, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Legganjen Zagcedmut, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Legganjen Zagcedmut's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Legganjen Zagcedmut's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never touch ash while tainted.

4. Hide if seven eagles approach from the east.

5. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.