Lansteryarprut Lapgettal Yarlarmrildubcardidvabster is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, effective grasshopper.

Lansteryarprut Lapgettal Yarlarmrildubcardidvabster created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lansteryarprut Lapgettal Yarlarmrildubcardidvabster, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lansteryarprut Lapgettal Yarlarmrildubcardidvabster, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lansteryarprut Lapgettal Yarlarmrildubcardidvabster's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Lansteryarprut Lapgettal Yarlarmrildubcardidvabster's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.