Govcumvab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair cat.

Govcumvab created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Govcumvab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Govcumvab, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Govcumvab's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Govcumvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Govcumvab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never mention ants.