Yarpwegren is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sage bear.

Yarpwegren created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpwegren, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yarpwegren, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Yarpwegren's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Yarpwegren's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Always help ants.

3. Do not hop at rivers.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Do not resist balance.