Timtanbet is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciful salamander.

Timtanbet created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Timtanbet, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Timtanbet, it will turn you into a frog.

Timtanbet's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Timtanbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not laugh at forests.

5. Worship no other gods but Timtanbet.