Hapvagomtlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful finch.

Hapvagomtlarg created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapvagomtlarg, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hapvagomtlarg, it will turn you into a dog.

Hapvagomtlarg's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hapvagomtlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.