Genvogjarn Zodfossomt is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional guinea pig.

Genvogjarn Zodfossomt created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genvogjarn Zodfossomt, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Genvogjarn Zodfossomt, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Genvogjarn Zodfossomt's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Genvogjarn Zodfossomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never gather nine grasshopers in one place.