Quillbumnan is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, egotistical whale.

Quillbumnan created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillbumnan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quillbumnan, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quillbumnan's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Quillbumnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near ducks.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near goats while wearing white trousers and balancing four iron spheres on your legs.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never adorn your arms with orange markings.