Getfonpid is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciful weasel.

Getfonpid created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getfonpid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Getfonpid, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Getfonpid's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Getfonpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Always remove dresses before touching carbon.

3. Do not speak about oranges.

4. You must love Getfonpid.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Getfonpid on top of all buildings.