Veentaplarn Saftettisand is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, vain whale.

Veentaplarn Saftettisand created the Milkyway eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veentaplarn Saftettisand, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Veentaplarn Saftettisand, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Veentaplarn Saftettisand's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Veentaplarn Saftettisand's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet hamsters for they are unholy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never touch blood while tainted.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Always help dolphins.