Sandtonzod is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witty chicken.

Sandtonzod created the Whirlpool Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sandtonzod, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sandtonzod, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sandtonzod's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Sandtonzod's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sandtonzod.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Gulls are not to be trusted.

5. Always wear gray.