Nighivwik is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unfair porpoise.

Nighivwik created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nighivwik, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nighivwik, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nighivwik's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Nighivwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

2. Hide if three birds approach from the north.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Nighivwik on top of all buildings.

4. Always wash your face before prayer.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.