Stanwipmob is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, awesome dugong.

Stanwipmob created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Stanwipmob, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stanwipmob, he will make you grow a tail.

Stanwipmob's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Stanwipmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

2. Always store melons above ground.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.