Pakladcub is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, tranquil bear.

Pakladcub created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakladcub, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pakladcub, he will turn you into a plant.

Pakladcub's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Pakladcub's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.