Arpyikzan Randitmil is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, intelligent bee.

Arpyikzan Randitmil created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpyikzan Randitmil, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arpyikzan Randitmil, it will turn you into a plant.

Arpyikzan Randitmil's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Arpyikzan Randitmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ants.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never think about optics near hamsters while wearing magenta shorts and balancing five tin spheres on your neck.