Cunmifpark is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, flying turtle.

Cunmifpark created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunmifpark, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cunmifpark, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cunmifpark's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Cunmifpark's Holy Commandments

1. Cunmifpark loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not prepare oranges while filled with envy.

4. Do not place onions upon stone.

5. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.