Teendagbitsugzog is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, charitable gerbil.

Teendagbitsugzog created the Virgo Supercluster eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teendagbitsugzog, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Teendagbitsugzog, he will turn you into a frog.

Teendagbitsugzog's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Teendagbitsugzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine snakes in a large pit.

2. Never think about optics near badgers while wearing orange tights and balancing five titanium spheres on your feet.

3. Always look after injured nematodes.

4. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.