Hitkangum is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic manatee.

Hitkangum created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitkangum, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hitkangum, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hitkangum's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hitkangum's Holy Commandments

1. Always store carrots above ground.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never curse while facing west.

4. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

5. Always wash your legs before prayer.