Lidcamtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, charitable hedgehog.

Lidcamtonk created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidcamtonk, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lidcamtonk, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lidcamtonk's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Lidcamtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.