Jatlipdum is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humorless zebra.

Jatlipdum created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatlipdum, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jatlipdum, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jatlipdum's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Jatlipdum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

2. Never gather six eagles in one place.

3. Never feed tomatoes to porpoises while wearing coats.

4. Never feed peas to voles while wearing yellow hats.

5. Never remain prostrate at midnight.