Zangeplop is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered clam.

Zangeplop created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zangeplop, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zangeplop, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zangeplop's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zangeplop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after birds.

2. Never stain your hands with indigo.

3. Worship no other gods but Zangeplop.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Zangeplop on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about aardvarks.