Rakmannar is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tranquil squid.

Rakmannar created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakmannar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rakmannar, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Rakmannar's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Rakmannar's Holy Commandments

1. Rakmannar loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Never wear yellow skirts on sacred days.

3. Never stain your head with gray.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Fast once a month.