Tikbellmad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witty tapir.

Tikbellmad created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tikbellmad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tikbellmad, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tikbellmad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tikbellmad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Tikbellmad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tikbellmad.

3. Never feed lots of peanuts to sheep while wearing mauve jumpers.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never hurt moths.