Yokxenflan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy crocodile.

Yokxenflan created everything that exists three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokxenflan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yokxenflan, he will curse you with boils.

Yokxenflan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Yokxenflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near swans while wearing black trousers and balancing three silicon spheres on your feet.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.