Titnadtail is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tranquil jaguar.

Titnadtail created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titnadtail, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Titnadtail, he will try to impress you with trees.

Titnadtail's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Titnadtail's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine geese approach from the north.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not wear rings marked with mauve.

4. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.