Bossontpom is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless raven.

Bossontpom created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossontpom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bossontpom, it will laugh at you.

Bossontpom's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bossontpom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Bossontpom on top of important buildings.

2. Worship no other gods but Bossontpom.

3. Never gather three tortoises near doors.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.