Gadsadwip is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless hippopotamus.

Gadsadwip created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadsadwip, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gadsadwip, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gadsadwip's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gadsadwip's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Gadsadwip on top of all buildings.

3. Never adorn your feet with cyan markings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gadsadwip.

5. Run away from indigo otters, for they are unholy.