Mum Vinbifbess is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, loving centipede.

Mum Vinbifbess created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mum Vinbifbess, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mum Vinbifbess, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Mum Vinbifbess' most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Mum Vinbifbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never allow great tits to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Never wear fawn boots.

4. Never mention doves.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.