Paslarnkar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, amazing capybara.

Paslarnkar created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paslarnkar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Paslarnkar, he will turn you into a dog.

Paslarnkar's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Paslarnkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Run away from yellow rats, for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.