Dogbumcim Sasxenflam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, duplicitous cow.

Dogbumcim Sasxenflam created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogbumcim Sasxenflam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dogbumcim Sasxenflam, he will not care.

Dogbumcim Sasxenflam's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dogbumcim Sasxenflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying wood.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Pray only in shadows.