Ont is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional shrew.

Ont created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ont, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ont, she will laugh at you.

Ont's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ont's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing jumpers.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not fashion tools from lead.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must pray to Ont seven times a day.