Pidcethen Funnurldam is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured swan.

Pidcethen Funnurldam created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidcethen Funnurldam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pidcethen Funnurldam, she will turn you into a sheep.

Pidcethen Funnurldam's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Pidcethen Funnurldam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.