Minstaftalman is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, astonishing cobra.

Minstaftalman created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Minstaftalman, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Minstaftalman, he will send you a sign.

Minstaftalman's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Minstaftalman's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Minstaftalman on top of important buildings.