Nurtjopgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fussy parrot.

Nurtjopgeb created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtjopgeb, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nurtjopgeb, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nurtjopgeb's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Nurtjopgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never adorn your face with mauve markings.

5. Never talk about seals.