Bonpidlab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional slug.

Bonpidlab created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Bonpidlab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bonpidlab, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Bonpidlab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bonpidlab's Holy Commandments

1. Bonpidlab loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

2. Bonpidlab loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Always treat gulls with great respect.