Tettivedxem is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unselfish jellyfish.

Tettivedxem created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Tettivedxem, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tettivedxem, he will not care.

Tettivedxem's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Tettivedxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always remove shoes before touching nickel.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear plain stockings during rituals.

5. Shun those given to vanity.