Cussbestcep is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, smart porpoise.

Cussbestcep created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussbestcep, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cussbestcep, he will be very sad.

Cussbestcep's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Cussbestcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

2. Do not name children after horses.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Do not take Cussbestcep's name in vain.

5. Never hurt eagles.