Zantunfat is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fast whale.

Zantunfat created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zantunfat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zantunfat, she will turn you into a mole.

Zantunfat's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zantunfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple hats.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zantunfat.

3. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

4. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.

5. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.