Yimwanlapzedtik is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast manatee.

Yimwanlapzedtik created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Yimwanlapzedtik, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yimwanlapzedtik, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yimwanlapzedtik's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Yimwanlapzedtik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick doves.

2. Never skip in winter.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never mark doors with orange.

5. Run away if nine nematodes approach from the east.