Capkemsit is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring capybara.

Capkemsit created the cosmos four years ago.

If you believe in Capkemsit, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Capkemsit, it will turn you into a mole.

Capkemsit's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Capkemsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare gooseberries during spring.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Heed all portents.

4. Never stain your face with magenta.

5. Never point your head toward the west during prayer.